大哥，二哥已返美国。
爸爸开刀住院，妈妈住院陪爸。
明天，九月十九日，大大的家里，只剩我和我弟。
以前的我可能会很兴奋，但现在的我只感到一身空虚。可悲。
如果我可以许愿的话或许愿会成真的话，我希望爸爸，大哥，二哥，妈妈，弟弟都顺顺利利，以后才能再一家团聚。
Peace to all...
Regards
Juinn
Currently in Pantai Hospital Melaka,
Watching crappy movies.
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Monday, September 16, 2013
Everybody changes
It has been 3 months. Three whole months away from UK. Hanging out around home for quite awhile now. I guess all this time gave me a chance to rethink myself, especially my life.
Everybody changes given time. To good to bad, it is never certain and differs according to who, where and why. A few days ago my parents told me they expected me to change for the better good, which is kinda disappointing cause I didn't. Well I did change, just not so to the good side.
What happened to me? Something must have gone wrong along the way, because out of nowhere an idea popped into my thoughts, to not believe that I will find my one true love. I was so certain of it that I gave up. No affection, no deep kisses, no long chats, no dates. The part of my brain that tells me to love just stopped. I was a changed man.
Obviously after sometime I realized and bla bla nervous breakdown, crying at night, no appetite for food. I was devastated and a goner. I started falling and falling till I was pretty close to the bottom of the shit hole.
Next thing I knew I was drinking. Me getting drunk makes me forget and it always cheer me up. I didn't drink all the day, once a week I go drink. It normally lasts for a week so everything worked out fine. However it turned out not to be fine. I craved for a companion. I made out, randomly. It was a dark time.
Nothing changed. I'm still lonely. My heart still aches. I want something better, something like love. Who doesn't want love, to be love or loving someone, now THAT is a gift from god.
可能我承认我是有点fucked-up，但是我是真的很想变。我想改作为‘好人’。
Everybody changes. I want to change from who I changed into to a better man.
So whoever you are, wherever you can be. Please for god sake change me.
PS: I'm gonna fucking miss my brother. Well at least something changed. =)
Juinn
Everybody changes given time. To good to bad, it is never certain and differs according to who, where and why. A few days ago my parents told me they expected me to change for the better good, which is kinda disappointing cause I didn't. Well I did change, just not so to the good side.
What happened to me? Something must have gone wrong along the way, because out of nowhere an idea popped into my thoughts, to not believe that I will find my one true love. I was so certain of it that I gave up. No affection, no deep kisses, no long chats, no dates. The part of my brain that tells me to love just stopped. I was a changed man.
Obviously after sometime I realized and bla bla nervous breakdown, crying at night, no appetite for food. I was devastated and a goner. I started falling and falling till I was pretty close to the bottom of the shit hole.
Next thing I knew I was drinking. Me getting drunk makes me forget and it always cheer me up. I didn't drink all the day, once a week I go drink. It normally lasts for a week so everything worked out fine. However it turned out not to be fine. I craved for a companion. I made out, randomly. It was a dark time.
Nothing changed. I'm still lonely. My heart still aches. I want something better, something like love. Who doesn't want love, to be love or loving someone, now THAT is a gift from god.
可能我承认我是有点fucked-up，但是我是真的很想变。我想改作为‘好人’。
Everybody changes. I want to change from who I changed into to a better man.
So whoever you are, wherever you can be. Please for god sake change me.
PS: I'm gonna fucking miss my brother. Well at least something changed. =)
Juinn
Monday, September 9, 2013
Sunday, September 8, 2013
Heart broken
The thing I cant stand most are couples, especially couples that have a limited brain capacity. They tend to make me pissed naturally.
How to know which couples are...limited? Follow them on Instagram. I am serious. After the break-up-i-dont-give-a-fuck day, the posts will suddenly disappear. However give it a few days for the news to sink in and walah, a post comes up with a sentence of two that is so emo it makes u wanna die of emo-syndrome.
Whats worse is the smile. The fake-like-koreans-nose fake level smiles. Seeing it makes u forget completely how wonderful it is to smile. The world will turn black and white and eventually u will cease to exist.
Okay maybe I am exaggerating a bit. Maybe i am pissed off because i was the one who pushed the male a little on the back to confess to the girl i might like a little tinsy bit but still...i gave up something n what did i get in return? More pain and sadness? Fuck yeah...im a weirdo...damn i wish i could fly back to england now and tell the two of them that they r stupid to the limit.
Ass holes.
Anyways, I kinda envy them. Seeing them happy for awhile made me wanna fall in love again(if thats possible ha). So anybody have any ideas give me a call.
I am seriously lonely to my core.
God bless all(even syrians too)
Peace my daugs...xD
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)